What Does Hair Mean To You, Girl?
By: Emely Lebron
Ever since I can remember, I've always had to worry about my hair. It started off with it being too tangled so I would complain when getting it done. I would look at princesses like Rapunzel and say “Wow, I want my hair that long!” So my mom would get me this hair growing oil. But then, the first time I straightened my hair in the Dominican Republic, I remember crying because it was too hot and it just seemed painful. The women around me would put the straightened hair in my hands for me to feel as if that was going to make the pain I just felt any better, as if getting tied down to get burnt was all worth it if my hair turned out nice. Time and time again I straightened my hair as I got older, adapting to this fear of getting my ears burnt. Then I realized that adapting to that feeling that “beauty is pain” is actually adapting to the burden of looking good and adapting to the box. I didn’t want my hair to be tangled every single time I did it. I didn’t want my hair to look like a mess because I didn’t have enough time to make my natural curls nice. I wanted an easier hair to manage – so I sat through long hours.
Yet, society is never happy. Suddenly, me straightening my hair was seen as a way of erasing who I really am. There’s always this duality when it comes to women where nobody is truly satisfied with the decisions they make. I bet even women who like to wear heels eventually have to get accustomed to flats because it would appear that she’s “trying too much”. Or women who get accustomed to wearing heels because wearing flats is seen as childish and she should be a woman. This brings me to the point that women get overwhelmed by other people always telling them what to do. So even something as simple as hair turns into a burden and that's why women speak a lot about their rights along with their image.
Women have been told different opinions about the same topic that it gets exhausting trying to fit inside that box. In the video “Be a Lady They Said” by Girls. Girls. Girls. Magazine, there’s a bunch of contradictions on what women should be like and clearly it's overwhelming because there are so many statements. Imagine how a woman must feel every time she has to live with that? It’s something that goes through her mind a lot even if she doesn’t know why. One of those statements is: “Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Eat up. Slim Down. Stop eating so much. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. Go on a diet. God you look like a skeleton! Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be a size 0. Be a double 0. Be nothing. Be less than nothing”.
This is a common and most popular contradiction a woman has to go through. From being told she’s underweight but then telling others they’re overweight. Yet, body figure isn’t the only thing this video touches upon. Another statement is: “Your hair is too short. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural!” Society expects so many different things that ultimately make up this idea of the perfect woman to have the perfect amount of everything and anyone outside that box has to live with the constant thoughts of fitting into that description. Based on the video, the description is a long list that has a lot of contradictions, making it almost impossible for women to breathe and feel good enough.
“Yes, society has made a lot of people believe that only long straight (blonde is also mentioned a lot) is beautiful and that we have to fit directly into that box or people won’t consider us pretty,” shared senior Payton Goodwin. “I have seen a lot of people starting to slowly break away from this focus on women’s bodies but it’s something that is still so engraved into many people’s heads.”
But, there are a lot of people, women included, who see this and say “Whatever – it’s just hair!” It's not just hair. Hair has had a history that even took part in the survival of women. African American women used hair to hide rice and other food while they escaped plantations as well as using their hair to map escape roots. In the 1920s, the bob served as a way to reject traditional femininity. Bringing this up and talking about how hair is a big part of confronting expectations isn’t “playing the victim” and isn’t complaining that someone is forcing another to do something with their head. Those exact comments are the reason WHY women have to speak out. Hair is always one of the most common compliments or insults people get like “her hair looks like a mess today” or “her hair looks really nice today”. Goodwin expressed in the interview, “when I have my curly hair I’m not able to blend in as much because my hair is honestly huge. And I always have to check it to make sure that it looks okay. It looks way less neat on me than when my hair is straightened.”
In conclusion, women get overwhelmed by other people always telling them what to do so even something as simple as hair turns into a burden and that's why women speak a lot about their rights along with their image. I know that I feel that burden for wanting to do a certain style with my hair. I even feel guilt-tripped into doing something else. It’s just a never ending cycle of telling women what to do getting masked under “suggestions”. Over the years, hair has been an extension of our selves – pointing to our past, culture, and history. The choice to do something with our hair has to do with those influences. To simplify it: the environment. What you’re exposed to affects how you express yourself through your hair. People say “it’s just hair”, but I have a right to complain when I get looked down upon by others for trying to make life easier by straightening my curly hair more often. It begs the question: wouldn’t it be the same if someone dyed their hair a color different from their original color? Or if someone were to cut their hair a little bit shorter to try a different hairstyle?
If you’re a woman, remember that the whole point of fighting for feminism is to have a choice!